Lost Last Chance
by lizzytizzy
Summary: A HHr oneshot inspired by 'You're Beautiful' Not as cliched as it sounds, it's rather sad, and tells the story of what happens when Harry's life falls apart. Now edited and expanded.


Harry found himself wandering down the street, pondering what had become of his life; he walked and wondered where it had all gone wrong. He was supposed to be a hero. He had saved the wizarding world from the greatest evil it had ever known for Merlin's sake! Where had it gone wrong? Had he been in seclusion for too long? He started hiding to avoid the press, but the more he isolated himself the more time he had to think of everyone that had been lost. He knew this was a war, he knew people would die, but he still couldn't help but feel responsible. First he lost Ginny, it was just some stupid teenage romance, she shouldn't have died for it. But the real loss, the one that still disturbed his dreams, was Ron. His best friend, his first friend. This death angered him the most. Why? Ron was unarmed; the masked Death Eater didn't have to kill him. It was because he was close to Harry. Voldermort knew that hurting those around him would hurt him more then any spell. "Damn," thought Harry, "Why? Why did I have to choose that stupid compartment all those years ago? I should have distanced myself from everyone the second I heard that prophecy." There were so many "should hive's" he thought of during the long days alone in his flat. If he did this, maybe he could have been saved, and if he did that maybe she could have, maybe if he trained harder everyone would have been saved. The losses still made Harry bitter. Who puts the fate of their world in the hands of a seventeen-year-old boy who hadn't even finished his 7th year at Hogwarts? How could a grown man put so much faith in a stupid prophecy? If that stupid prophecy had never been made Harry's parents wouldn't have died. Harry's friends and classmates wouldn't have died. If Harry knew how much pain he would cause those around him he would have distanced himself from everything and everyone. He would have lived in him symbolic cupboard his whole life. That's just what Harry had tried to fix. After defeating Voldermort he distanced himself from everyone. Especially Hermione. He couldn't loose her. From what he heard she was happy now. She deserved it.

_My life is brilliant  
My love is pure.  
I saw an angel.  
Of that I'm sure.  
She smiled at me on the subway.  
She was with another man.  
But I won't lose no sleep on that,  
'Cause I've got a plan.  
_  
Harry couldn't believe what he saw. It was Hermione. Suddenly all those feelings he had shoved away for so long were back. All those long hours in the library, and late nights in the common room, he missed her more then anything. After several minutes Harry realized he was staring at her. He wondered if she even recognized him. He was no longer the boy he had been before the war. War ages people, and Harry especially had aged prematurely. He was about to find out if maybe, perhaps they still had that spark when the train stopped. She was getting off. Harry ran to the door, but it was too late. She had already disappeared into the crowd. He stood on a bench and looked around wildly, but she was no where to be seen. He slowly sat down, resigning himself to the fact that he had lost her again, that he had never had her. That he couldn't have her.

_You're beautiful.  
You're beautiful.  
You're beautiful, it's true.  
I saw your face in a crowded place,  
And I don't know what to do,   
'Cause I'll never be with you._

Suddenly he saw her across the station, about to board another train. Despite knowing that he couldn't have her Harry ran through the station, trying to catch her. He reached her train just as the doors slid shut. Harry was about to turn around, defeated again, when he heard a banging on the glass. It was Hermione! She saw him. He held his hand up to hers before the train sped away, trying to take her all in. Harry finally backed away as the train started up, and cast one last look at the smartest witch of their age. Harry realized after that the train had bared quite a resemblance to the one he had forced her on years ago after Ron's funeral. Harry probably would have broken down and cried at the irony of it all, that is, he would have if he still cried. The last tear he had ever shed was at Ron's funeral. Since then he had willed himself to never shed another tear for the countless lost.

_Yes, she caught my eye,  
As we walked on by.  
She could see from my face that I was,  
Fucking high,  
And I don't think that I'll see her again,  
But we shared a moment that will last 'till the end.  
_  
Harry considered trying to find Hermione again as he watched the trains fly past, but he knew he couldn't. He couldn't lose anyone else, and you can't loose someone you never had. Harry found a bench and fell into it, thinking of what had become of his life, what he had become. "Look at the great Harry Potter now," he said, to no one in particular," Miserable and alone, too pitiful to chase after his one true love." Harry sat there, thinking about his last sentence. It was true. Look at him. He was pathetic, was this really the Harry Potter people had given their lives for? "No, no it's not," Harry whispered to himself, and it was then that he realized what he needed to do.

_You're beautiful. You're beautiful.  
You're beautiful, it's true.  
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,  
When she thought up that I should be with you.  
But it's time to face the truth,  
I will never be with you._

Hermione pushed her way off her returning train, and looked around frantically for a man she hadn't seen in nearly five years. She reached the end of the platform just in time to watch as the Boy-Who-Lived ended his sorrow under the wheels of the 9:00 express.


End file.
